“Wait, no politician has been treated worse?” Oliver asked. “Abraham Lincoln was shot by an actor. William McKinley was shot by an anarchist. JFK was, of course, murdered by Ted Cruz’s father. And James Garfield was shot, then to find the bullet, Alexander Graham Bell devised a kind of metal detector, which didn’t work, so doctors tried to fish around in his guts for the bullet with unwashed fingers, which just made his infection worse, so he died in horrible pain. But yeah, Alec Baldwin sometimes does a mean impression of you on TV. So yeah, it’s basically the same, isn’t it?”
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